ive decided to do this blog based on my own issues with depression. how if affects me, friends,family and everything between.
,ive suffered with depression for years, long before i even knew i was depressed. i thought i was just sad and miserable
about 3 years again that all change my world came crashing down around me, i couldn’t carry on ,anymore, i just wanted to the pain to end.
I bottled everything up. put on a brave face in public and poured my heart out in private.
i spent the next month in bed ;crying constantly almost unable to function.
Im far too sensitive for my own good, i always see the worst in myself.
the worst thing you can say to someone ,with depression is. snap out of it, or cheer up. for me that just made me feel even more worthless. more inverted, more withdrawn.
unless you have suffered with it, its impossible to understand. Although everyone’s depression differs there are key things we all share;;:
everything feels 100 times worse
it feels like you are living in a bubble
you feel numb
you just feel empty and alone. there a million things i could add.
for me i just wanted to be alone everything seemed a blur days merged into weeks i lost all sense of time.
it has affected all parts of me, I’ve lost; all confidence in myself at times i hate myself.
People thought i was just being moody and attention seeking. I’m sure people still think it.
there been times ive drank to stop the pain, hurt myself. physically and emotionally. i still hurt everyday.
its an on going struggle one day at a time, that’s how i look at things now.
on a positive note 3 years on I’m still here, still fighting, don’t get me wrong, im still very depressed an find it hard everyday.
if people read this please take away a few things.
Talking does help, friends,family, professionals. dont do what i do, Talk.
Keep a diary write down what you feel. good and bad
i hope this makes sense and its just a waffle. If one person reads this and get help, ill be happy
you are not alone people care. dont bottle things up talk to people you trust there are people to contact . that first step is the hardest but also the strongest